Adventures in remote desktopping, or the obfuscation of ecosystem

I love working on an iPad Pro. It’s the device that I find myself wanting to continually pick up, and the device on which I seem to get the most done – not always finished products, but the best and most fully defined ideas I can usually bring to reality. That goes for many aspects of my life: personal projects to cultivate my relationship with my wife, writing and producing the bulk of songs, writing and communicating and planning product ideas and larger initiatives for my job, writing this blog post.

My job is doing product management which, while a very complex and multi-faceted job, is essentially reading, writing and talking. Hey now – the iPad is amazing for that. I’ve got Slack, Outlook, the Google Suite of apps, my writing and task management apps of choice loaded up, and that makes up about 90% of the job.

The other 10%? Fairly technical stuff locked down to company-owned devices. I’m diagnosing issues with complex operational products, testing features, writing SQL queries, reading code – stuff that would be insane for a large public e-commerce company to leave open.

To do this work, I am effectively locked into a Windows PC. At least it’s a massively souped-up quad core Windows 10 PC, but…it’s a PC. Stuck between the Google and Office ecosystems. Locked down by IT administrators. This PC is a laptop attached to an enormous dock connected to two Dell monitors in a corner of a big room, neither of which I use or maintain a consistent connection to said enormous dock. Because PC laptop keyboards seem to be all-encompassingly awful, I have a separate, wired external keyboard and (also wired) mouse which still hurt my hands to use, just slightly less so than the laptop keyboard.

All to do about 10% of my job. Possibly less on some days.

Meanwhile, the iPad just sits there, next to said collection of heavy, bulky metal objects connected by many thick cables, waiting eagerly for me to return to the other 90% of my job.

I was recently thinking about why I bother using the PC at all. I don’t mean this to undervalue our IT department, but what does it mean to be a primary working machine in the first place? Can I just pretend that my primary work machine is my iPad Pro, and the PC is just a novelty device that I bring in as the big guns?

Or, could I rely on VNC/remote desktop access for the few things I need the PC for? For a long time, I honestly forgot this was a thing: you could access your desktop computer, in its entirety, from another device.

Turns out Microsoft Remote Desktop on iOS isn’t half bad at all – and since my work machine runs Windows 10, it’s all tablet friendly (thanks Surface) and my sensitive work stuff translates nicely to a 10.5” tablet. I can tap to execute a script, or open a Chrome bookmark, or run a POST request in Postman, or…open a 80MB Excel worksheet.

I have three main gripes with this approach, which keeps me occasionally reluctantly returning to my PC:

  • iOS’s stock keyboard doesn’t seem to like unicode quotation marks – ‘ and ‘, but not `’`. I find myself copying-and-pasting quotation marks around SQL queries, which can become annoying.
  • Since Windows uses different conventions for key commands, and you’re accessing Windows via an iPad, sometimes basic key commands are hard to get right. The basics (Select All + Copy + Paste) work fine, but Windows-app-specific ones do not. I sometimes find myself needing to use a combination of hardware keyboard and Microsoft RD’s built-in software keyboard just to reopen a recently closed tab in Chrome-within-Windows.
  • Google Slides and Sheets (not Docs) are pretty terrible on iOS, so I sometimes need to use Remote Desktop for that. It’s sometimes actually more effective than the native app.

Temporary sanity

I’ve drastically undervalued remote desktop access, and now have an even deeper appreciation for both my iPad and Microsoft’s investment in the iOS ecosystem. It is now even easier to do my job from anywhere, even if that job is locked into certain systems and processes for various reasons.

We might have reached Peak Apps

It’s a great time to be a productivity nut. (Note that this post is going to be incredibly first-world-problem-y in nature.)

Since moving to Berlin I’ve had an opportunity to critically review how I work. My job is for the same company and essentially doing the same thing, but I was able to shed some of the burden of direct reports, longstanding internal processes and borderline-political work relationships, and kind of start fresh in a way. My morning routine has gotten more about me – taking time, eating a real breakfast, learning a bit of German via Duolingo, reading news instead of email.

When my mind is feeling nourished, I plan my day with Things 3, moving stuff for this evening to This Evening, comparing my pockets of available time with the number of tasks or projects I need to focus on, and deferring the least important things. I might draft up a few writing ideas or notes for projects in Drafts, some of which get linked to in Things and others that sit in my inbox for when I have a creative thought later.

My bigger idea boards for things that need planning or some kind of structure sit in Trello.

This all works for me quite well… but on some days it feels wrong. Why manage some projects in Things and others in Trello? They’re both really good, but why do I need Things to supposed Get Things Done when Trello can organize my projects with structure and let others collaborate with me?

Collaboration is important, right? But isn’t focus? Trello can do focus really well, I think. But then again, Todoist is also great for focus and collaboration – plus, it can automatically pull in tasks from anywhere via its API. But, Things can kind of do that through its own URL scheme and Mail feature.

GoodTask can do most of the above too – plus it integrates with Reminders, which is great because I can talk to it via Siri and not have to remember to say “using Things” or something very unnatural. Then again, why not just use stock Reminders since I can remind myself about most of the things I need to work on and have it smartly link back to those things? Moleskine Actions also looks really good too, I think. I haven’t even mentioned OmniFocus, because that’s…too much for me right now.

Literally all of these options are totally fine and look, perform and function amazingly. I haven’t even touched the writing, presentation, mind mapping, or spreadsheet apps. My brain hurts.

It’s a weird time to be a productivity nut. Most of the popular apps in most categories are all really, really good. How do you know which one is best? What is best, anyway?

Best for most people? Best for productivity nuts? Best for a married couple? Best for tech company employees? Best for strong female entrepreneurs? Best for stay-at-home dads? Best for digital nomads? Best for you? You’ll probably find a list like this and see roughly the same 10 to 20 apps in a given category, all of which are really, really good.

Navigating this is really hard. Not because the lists of “best apps” are too long or they’re too expensive or hard to find, but they’re just all so good. It takes a long, long time of trying each one out, being wowed by the unique features or design conventions or automation potential or scalability of each one, and having to decide which secret sauce of those is best for you. Apple is sometimes helpful with this, but other times not. I love the new App Store, but when I see a feature focused helping me “Get to Inbox Zero”, I can’t help but laugh at the 15 email clients they recommend for this – as if they’re sneering, “Literally any of these will work, we don’t care, just pick one.” It’s almost lazy.

Not to mention how those apps in a single category connect with the 10-to-20 best apps in a _different_category. I’ve finally decided on sticking to Things, but do I use that in tandem with Drafts? Bear? Ulysses? Apple Notes? Byword? 1Writer? Each of them? Some combination of these? I could use a cocktail of these different apps that basically do the exact same thing, but how much time must I give myself to figure out that perfect Manhattan of writing a few ranty blog posts on an iPad?

I also have to imagine it’s especially hard now to develop an app in the productivity or writing category and not be in this list. Either:

  1. You could copy some design conventions or differentiating functionality of one of those 10–to–20 apps, do some marketing pushes, and eventually be admitted into the wonderful apps club

  2. You could try and determine some feature or use cases that none of these thousands of people figured out already, and take a big gamble

  3. You should just give up and die

To be clear: I don’t think any of this is bad. I find it an interesting time in the world of mobile-first productivity and content creation where the consumer is pretty much always going to be delighted. Developers of that top-tier bucket of apps clearly know what conventions and functionality their consumers want and are willing to listen hard to understand how to best deliver that. The question for the consumer has gone from “what is the best app out there?” to “what is the app or apps that best suit my particular needs at the moment, but also jive perfectly with how I think or what I want to look at?” The second is a much more time-consuming question to ask, I have to imagine, for most people.

En route

I’m currently with my wife in France, en route to Berlin, where we’ll be living for at least a year. My company is sending me there to do some product management things for its relatively young European business; more generally, we’re using it as an opportunity to live outside the US during a both personally and politically anxious time.I don’t want to talk any more about politics, since that’s basically all that American news talks about and it’s all stress all the time, so instead, here’s a picture of the lake Alicia and I are sitting next to:This is Lac Annecy, a large lake next to a small and very cute city in Southeast France, right near the Alps. We’re here to detox from life for a few days before re-immersing in a somewhat different one in Germany.Because I naturally assimilate into the culture around me instead of actually trying to relax, here are a few quick observations about life in Annecy: – Service in restaurants is slower, but also it’s so pleasant that I rarely ever mind. – Everyone says bonjour, bonsoir, pardon and au revoir to each other – almost no exceptions. It doesn’t feel fake either; the locals seem genuinely cordial and kind, almost like a European version of Southern hospitality. If you don’t speak English, there is a genuine attempt to try and make the language barrier work (though the variability of English understanding here is wide). – I feel like an asshole trying to fake French, realize I don’t know what I’m saying, and then asking for English. I need to learn German quickly. – Espresso is much better than coffee here. The best espresso.I hear the coffee is fantastic in Berlin.

The wonderful future, or my phone is slowly becoming my wallet

Since Alicia and I moved back into Boston proper, I've started to hold cash on me much less frequently. Back in NYC or up in Salem, most of the establishments we frequent only accepted certain credit cards; many were cash-only.

Now, I can use Apple Pay or order online from pretty much anywhere I frequent – cabs & Uber, groceries from Trader Joe's, Starbucks and most other local chains – for everything else, I'm only really using one of two debit/credit cards. My only actual use for cash, except when I'm not in Boston, is to pay my barber every month. This has been a wonderful way to live, if anything because I have to worry about having less with me at any given time. My only further request is that I could get my driver's license and MBTA subway pass somehow onto my iPhone – then I could ditch my wallet almost completely.

Having a thinner wallet is kind of amazing, but my iPhone is starting to feel like a single point of failure. What if I drop it and crack the screen or damage the NFC chip or the Touch ID button? The 6s Plus has amazing battery life1, but what if it dies? Do I replace my wallet with my little Anker portable charger in my back pocket? What if I lose or forget that? What if I get mugged? Or worst yet, what if I lose the phone due to my own idiocy? How will I get my goddamn Venti iced coffee?

It gets me thinking about product redundancy – the physical wallet begins to act as backup for my virtual Wallet. But what happens when I have no need for a physical wallet anymore, other than to cover my ass if my phone dies? That's kind of an annoying prospect? Is that what Apple's betting on with the Apple Watch, if you ignore the lifestyle play? When does the "all-powerful device" with several obvious Achilles heels require redundancy, especially when you don't want to also carry your phone in an Otterbox case and with a portable charger constantly?

It's all really fascinating, is all. It's interesting to me that we still don't have a good, trusted, redundant solution here that's also convenient and cheap. We have it with our digital files thanks to name-your-cloud-storage-and/or-backup solution, but credit cards, identification and other highly physical-world things are still confined in your pocket or purse one way or another.

I get excited for our inevitable Minority Report-like future in which we could have public kiosks where, via a retina or thumbprint scan, you could retrieve a temporary copy of your ID, driver's license, last credit card used, or whatever you lost while out in the world. Dropped your phone and it's useless? Scan your finger at a Touch ID kiosk and you can automatically have a temporary ATM card printed instantly for use. Got mugged or lost your phone in an unfamiliar place? A quick scan could get you quick access to emergency response care, your Medical ID and history, and/or automatically wipe your phone and notify a loved one that you're okay. I don't know nearly enough about the technical complexity of making this work in practice – the scanners would need to be sanitary, damage-resistant, weather-proof, whatever else – clearly there are a lot of holes to this. It's almost certainly easily hackable if we're not careful.

But it'd at least be super cool, right?

  1. Except when I'm testing iOS betas…oops, maybe I should stop doing that.

iOS experiments: evaluating mixes

I haven’t written in a bit, but here’s some more stuff I’ve been thinking about in my spare time: listening to my music projects-in-progress in as many possible contexts as I can.

Why is this more than a simple task? Audio files are big. Important: these are not your favorite streaming service’s audio files. These are hi-res, uncompressed, 24-to-32-bit audio files that are being semi-professionally mixed and mastered by a sound engineer for me. I can’t stream these without murdering my data plan, and there’s no easy or obvious way to put all these files I listen to within the stock iOS ecosystem. Plus, I need to manage and track changes to mixes easily as we address notes about those mixes.

issue 1: managing the recording project

I use Trello for all my recording projects currently, and their iOS apps are pretty fantastic and getting new and more complex features monthly. So no issues here.

issue 2: getting the mix

When James, my mixing/mastering engineer friend, has a mix for me, he usually posts a comment on Trello with the private S3 download link. I love how easy it is to just spin up a mix for listening, but this gets problematic when I'm on the go. I listen to a lot of music (including these mixes) on trains to and from work – streaming a 50-200 MB audio file is murder to my data plan, and way too slow for any meaningful listening.

So I need to download to my phone as soon as I get James' mix. I've come to really appreciate Readdle Documents as my storage system for audio files, or any files, really. Documents has the ability to auto-sync any folder from any major cloud service. James (my mixing engineer) and I primarily rely on Google Drive and Amazon S3 as our main repositories for managing and sharing files around our music projects; Google Drive’s got some nice revision history tracking that allow us to keep track of what’s changed in a particular file or session. I can dump any of James’ mixes into a Google Drive folder, and in less than 20 seconds, it’s on my phone ready for offline listening.

Amazon S3 is a different beast, though – we use it primarily for large session storage and archiving – but I still occasionally need to access that on the go. Panic’s excellent Transmit app makes browsing S3 buckets super easy, and it’s beautiful on my iPhone 6s Plus. Frankly, if Panic built Google Drive support and some local file sync support into the app, I’d probably use Transmit exclusively for all file management on iOS.

issue 3: mix notes

As I mentioned above, we use Trello to manage the recording project at a high level. But sometimes I’ll be listening to a mix on the go and get a quick idea that I want to write down. Apple’s stock Notes app, with 3D Touch, makes for really quick note-taking that I can access later from anywhere. I love the new checklist feature in Apple Notes, mainly because it's nice to look at and super responsive.

If you don’t have an iPhone with 3D Touch, Drafts is an excellent alternative here. It's super minimal and uses Markdown syntax to easily organize notes you take. You can even set up very custom share actions that allow you send your drafts anywhere in a swipe.

In either case, I can easily take notes on the fly and share them to James in Trello or whichever messaging app in which we're talking.


That's pretty much it. Not much to it, but I find it valuable to review how I perform more file-heavy, less-simple tasks with the constraints of iOS such that I can waste less time and have easier access to the projects I love working on.

On Prince’s “The Ballad of Dorothy Parker”

Prince died a week ago. I’m really bummed about it. I’ve had some really good friends rave about how life-changing his shows are, and I kept convincing myself that I’d actually go to one. That can’t happen anymore, and it reminds me to take advantage of what exists in the now as much as I can.

What I have now is his entire discography, pulled together from various sources since I started listening to Prince regularly in my adult life.[^1] This past week I’ve been listening almost exclusively to all the Prince music I’ve collected, while also occasionally reading the reflective writing that has been published about the Artist. Much of that writing has been focused around his early-era, groundbreaking synth pop work: Purple Rain, working with The Revolution, the song “1999”. An occasional word about his tenuous relationship Warner Bros. Records. This great piece about the underrated & sometimes bizarre 1981 release Controversy.

I want to talk about one Prince song in particular that fundamentally changed how I think about recorded music: “The Ballad of Dorothy Parker.”

I didn’t like Purple Rain the first time I heard it in full. That was back in 2009 or so.[^2] It was so 80s. So many synth sounds. It didn’t really hit me that “When Doves Cry” had no bassline, and what that meant for music at the time, until I read about it in some retrospective a year or two later.

The album that sucked me into the Artist’s oeuvre was instead Sign O’ The Times, which a close friend of mine recommended in 2010 or so. It’s also considered one of his classics, but it’s a weird one: it’s a double album, and while all of Prince’s albums meld all sorts of genres together, this one frequently put wildly contrasting material against itself, back-to-back, almost forcing the listener to fundamentally change listening habits every few minutes. Take “Slow Love” and “Hot Thing,” both on disc 1 – the former is a great albeit typical sexy Prince slow jam, the latter almost a new standard for extreme pop minimalism. The entire first two minutes of “Hot Thing” pretty much center around F# and a drum machine and don’t change until a bizarre (for Prince) sax solo and frenetic scat-like vocals dominate the mix.

“The Ballad of Dorothy Parker” sits at the end of the first side of disc 1 of Sign O’ The Times, as sort of an ominous closer to a side full of likely hits. The title track was an actual hit; “Play In The Sunshine” is one of the most uplifting and energetic songs released in the 80s; “Housequake” is, despite its strange pitch-shifted lead vocal, an undeniably funky party jam. “Dorothy Parker” almost serves as the hangover after the housequake – it’s barely a ballad, with its frenetic beats and brisk tempo, but it paints a hazy, bleak picture of Prince’s after-party vulnerability.

Susan Rogers, Prince’s sound engineer during this period, recalled in a wonderfully detailed interview that a new recording console at Paisley Park (Prince’s recording studio complex) was not wired up properly when he impulsively decided to begin recording “Dorothy Parker”, and noticed that everything he recorded was coming out dull – no high end, no typical sheen. Prince noticed instantly, but decided he loved it given the fact that he conceived the whole song in a dream, and the dull sound complemented that dream-like quality of the lyrics he wrote.

How does the dream begin? Fuzzy and abruptly, as many do. “Dorothy Parker,” the recording, kicks off instantly with a sped-up drum fill, then silence, then an ambiguous 7th chord that takes a few seconds to resolve to E minor. In fact, every section of the song begins in suspension – when it’s not pivoting to a different tonal space entirely, Prince relies on A7s and F9s to leave you needing resolution, which doe

What I love about the “Dorothy Parker” recording is how dirty it sounds throughout. Not dirty in the typically-sexy way that Prince usually injects into all his work – but tarnished, ugly, weak in repair. The 3 drum machine rhythms that drive the song forward constantly interrupt each other; the bass is hard to identify as synthesized or performed; the chords performed through a weak-sounding tremolo. Every element of the music sounds like it’s falling apart, pushing up against each other, fucking up left and right, and Prince is trying to corral all the pieces together via his story to tell.

The story, by the way, is also brilliantly ugly in its detail: Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade, working the night shift for a lotta tips. She hooks up with Prince in the form of a shared bath after ordering a fruit cocktail (who does that?) because he ain’t too hungry. There are numerous references to clothes being wet (which is uncomfortable for anyone), keeping his pants on (almost a first for Prince), a violent room. In the climax Dorothy comforts the Artist with Joni Mitchell so he can return to said room. It’s a song about vulnerability in every respect: being uncomfortable, revealing yourself, letting someone in. That’s all a stumbling mess most of the time in reality – not unlike this song’s rhythm section – it takes a lot to say “cool” to a new face, and it’s weirdly specific to ask to keep your pants on in a presumably sexual encounter. Perhaps this was Prince telling us that he wasn’t this perfect sexual being he portrayed in the rest of his material. Who knows.

Prince apparently didn’t know at the time he wrote “The Ballad of Dorothy Parker” that she was also a writer; to me, that discrepancy only adds to the confusing dream the song puts forth. Are these the same women? Is Dorothy a waitress who moonlights as a writer? Does she become a writer after being inspired by the Artist’s violent room experience? Who is this girl, really? In the way that Breaking Bad fans clamored to learn more about the ugly, tragic story of Walter White, I get wrapped up in the story of Prince and Dorothy every time I play this track. If this song taught me anything, it’s that a song does not need to sound polished in order to be great.[^3]

The production value (or lack thereof?) gives the song its identity, no doubt. Of course, however, it’s not as easy to replicate that sound in a live setting – while I hadn’t seen Prince perform live during his life, I’ve seen only one video of him performing “Dorothy Parker” with his band. I think it was on the Arsenio Hall show. In the live setting, the song transforms into a Latin-infused mid-tempo R&B jam; a salsa-esque saxophone hook brings a sense of direction more than anything in the recording. As great as this live performance is, the emotional center of the song is fundamentally different than its recorded counterpart. Dorothy is still a waitress, but Prince talks to her with a more confident strut.

Perhaps my own social awkwardness is why I identify with the recorded “Dorothy Parker” so much; I would never approach someone with that confidence in public. The bleakness of the recording resembles the murky reality of meeting new people: everyone has their baggage, and it’s really uncomfortable and sometimes requires a vulnerability you’re not used to bearing. That vulnerability is lost in most popular music; some artists might explore it in their lyrics, but there are few examples where the music and its production take the listener to a place beyond the words themselves. Few examples in pop this ugly.

Let’s hope for more songs like “Dorothy Parker.”

[^1]: Hopefully his estate will start to release more archived material and live footage so the world can experience more of his purple majesty, but considering he apparently never had a will, who knows what will happen.

[^2]: Yeah, I’m late to the game. Sorry, super fans.

[^3]: This is probably the same underlying reason for my affinity for punk music, which I think lines up with my love for Prince.

iOS experiment 1: changing and tinkering with a WordPress site theme

As I mentioned last week, I’m trying to make my iPad Air 2 actually useful in my life. Currently, it’s a rarely used content portal despite being almost as powerful as my MacBook Pro and having a fantastic app ecosystem.

Plenty of folks have talked about the beauty of being able to code on an iPad – there’s apps like Coda and Textastic that have been germinating for years in the App Store – but there’s so much more to web & software development than just writing code. You need a local development environment. You need to be able to manage changes to your code via Git or Subversion. You need to be able to show people real changes before pushing those changes to your live site or app. You need to be able to read and manipulate data. There’s plenty more I can’t even think of, since – hey now – I’m not actually a full-time developer.

That said, I manage a few sites built in self-hosted WordPress, one of which is this site. I got tired of having to find and fix bugs with the old theme, so I wanted to see if I could simply change a theme and hack it to my liking, all via my iPad.

Why is this not so intuitive to the untrained eye?

WordPress has an amazing theme directory of its own, which allows for direct installs to your website; plus there are thousands of premium theme repositories across the Internet which package beautiful themes in nice .zip packages, which can be extracted easily within your hosting environment for use. I’ve been doing this for years and it’s second nature at this point to launch a WordPress site and tinker with countless themes. However, this is a bit harder to do on iOS:

  • WordPress’ iOS app has no awareness of its own theme directory;
  • There’s no true in-house file management solution in iOS;
  • iOS’ handling of .zip files in itself is murky at best;
  • There’s no obvious way to set up a local environment of your WordPress site on iOS to tinker with the theme before pushing it live

So, how should we deal with this?

Finding and getting a new theme

As I mentioned before, it’s really easy to find WordPress themes on the Internet – just Google it. When I find a theme I like, I need to download the .zip file containing its assets and somehow get it onto my hosting platform.

I’ve come to really appreciate Readdle’s Documents app for all my file downloads and management. It has its own built-in browser, which handles file downloads much more seamlessly than Safari’s stock file handling. I’ve found that some WordPress theme providers require a login to access a theme’s files (ThemeForest, for example), so having Documents for both the logged-in experience on one of these sites and the downloads I need to perform is really helpful. I can then open up and look at the files within Documents, and upload them straight to my FTP server provided by my hosting provider – all within Documents.

Testing the theme out

Web & software developers commonly refer to a ‘local’ environment for making changes to their code & testing those changes. I haven’t yet found a good way to do this all directly on my iOS device; however, with websites, it’s pretty easy to set up a private sandbox to test out new themes before pushing them to my live site.

I use Namecheap for both my domains and shared hosting; they give me a pretty robust SFTP server to host all my files for my websites. I’ve set up my 3 main websites to point to this server, as well as 3 “sandboxed” versions of those websites in a subdirectory – /sandbox/brandonlucasgreen/, for example. In that folder is another WordPress install which is private to the world and only accessible to me, which I set up simply through the cPanel interface. Setting up a new WordPress install in iOS Safari isn’t quite as speedy as it is on my MacBook Pro, but it’s not terribly hard to get done.

What doesn’t work well on a 9.7″ screen is WordPress.com’s stock post editor.

Thank goodness for Ulysses, which is so much more pleasant to look at, extremely good at organizing my writing (both long- and extremely short-form), and can get my posts to WordPress via a simple Workflow.[^1]

Having a sandbox to break things within is great, but I also wanted to try some sort of revision management on the iPad. Turns out there’s a great app for that in Working Copy. I love this thing – I can make simple code changes right inside the app, push them to the sandbox git repo I created, see the changes instantly, and then push them to Github and production once I’m satisfied.


Split-screen-working-copy.jpeg

Messing with data

Occasionally I need to hack together posts and other WordPress settings in various states, and sometimes it’s easier to do that directly in the database WordPress uses, rather than in WordPress’ (admittedly slow) admin interface. WordPress operates on MySQL, and I’ve found that Navicat’s MySQL client for iOS is a solid app for dealing with this.

This is just a start, but after messing around with a few apps and getting comfortable with a smaller screen, I’m reasonably confident that I can manage my website entirely from an iPad. Next up: working with audio on an ipad.

[^1]: They’re even adding native WordPress support in Ulysses 2.6 coming soon!

Tracking technology and the vote

I originally wrote this for the Mathys+Potestio blog, this really cool employment agency based in Portland, Oregon. Here’s the link to the original post.

I’ve noticed that, for the first time in my life, I’m overwhelmed by politics. In high school, it was just a topic that sometimes came up among my debate-team friends. In college and my early years of employment it was a side conversation.

Now I can’t go a day without someone mentioning a candidate at least 3 times, and my Facebook news feed is covered almost exclusively in images, GIFs and video clips lampooning or praising candidates. Maybe I’m just at that age now when we begin to center conversations around politics unlike when we were young. Maybe it’s all media buzz. Maybe, even if it’s overwhelming, it’s actually a good thing: voter turnout since 2008 is up from where it was in the 90s.

Regardless, I find myself asking the question more frequently: why are so many of my friends and colleagues suddenly in tune with the election? What changed to make this a central part of our lives again?

You could easily argue that the trying times we live in begets political action in itself – but during every time of significant political activity in American history, technology seemed to come along for the ride. Think about the 1960 Presidential debates, during which technology (that is, television) presented candidates in a wholly new light: everyday people could truly see the candidates in person for the first time. This almost single-handedly swung the election in favor of the younger, more energized JFK – it gave apathetic or indecisive voters a new context in which they could base a political stance.

After the major TV broadcast networks got stale in terms of their political coverage, other players started to get involved. During the 80s we saw niche Cable television networks spring up everywhere covering virtually every popular interest. MTV found an opportunity to politically engage its audience in the early 2000s with Vote or Die, a campaign run by Puff Daddy aimed at young popular music fans to get out the vote. Had cable television never come to be, enabling specialty networks like MTV, that would never have happened.

Of course, Vote or Die is basically dead and gone at this point, but that’s only because the idea also went stale. In a blog post written before the 2014 midterm elections, Benjamin Studebaker suggested that “when P-Diddy tells young people to vote or die, he can give all sorts of reasons why millions of young people should vote, but no reason why any given person should vote.” People were able to easily ignore the message on an individual level – while strong in tone, it falls flat. However, “there are many ways to get the influence you need to make a difference” – Studebaker doesn’t necessarily fault the program or any candidate tactic, per se – but perhaps a more intimate connection with voters to clearly understand and respond to concerns was the next place to go.

While Vote or Die was briefly capturing the attention of America’s youth, Facebook was plotting its eventual cultural takeover. Facebook feels like it’s been around forever at this point, but its influence on social behavior and pop culture is obvious; just 8 years later, it hosted its first Town Hall meeting. This was yet another way for disengaged citizens (specifically, younger, tech-savvy ones) to engage with politics and find reasons to vote. The rapid expansion of the social media space has introduced yet more interactive solutions for candidates to interact with potential or apathetic voters – for example, every candidate in the 2016 election has Instagram, Periscope and Snapchat accounts, and their marketing teams are finding new ways to leverage these platforms to interact with young voters.

Technological and cultural innovation has, quite literally, given apathetic citizens new reasons to vote by presenting new contexts on which to base voting decisions.

If social tech is hugely influencing my network to get out and vote, is it affecting the same change in other demographics throughout the country? Are fervent Trump supporters in the Midwest endlessly posting about their fervent Trump support to their friends, like how my friends are nonstop blabbing about their liberalism? Software is eating the world, and the world has a smartphone and a Facebook account, so why don’t I see this?

Much of it has to do with context-setting, and much of that can be done by friends and family. In 2010, a single Facebook message got over 300,000 people to vote because that message got stuck in a viral loop – the original writer shared the message to his closest friends, who then shared the message with their own friends, and so on. In the past 2 years, various people have speculated on Facebook’s massive direct impact on voter turnout. Facebook’s audience tends to skew younger and female, so the impact on voter turnout is naturally felt most in these demographics. There are also plenty of businesses out there whose sole purpose is to thrive on “viral” content – and some of them, like Upworthy, focus on the most viral content with a meaningful underlying message. These topics also generally skew more liberal – perfect for the young, predominantly female audience on Facebook and other networks on which this content is shared.

But it’s fairly obvious that social networks have also had their negative effects on the political process – namely, they’ve encouraged polarization and filtered confirmation bias.

That begs two questions:

  1. As social media hype starts to lose its luster in the face of content overload and social upheaval, what is the next technological advance that affects the political participation?
  2. How does technology encourage voter turnout within those who are generally more resistant to technological change?

I certainly can’t answer either of these questions today – but some startups are exploring them now. Startups like Agora and Civis Analyics are working to bring better opportunities for voters to engage with their candidates, and better data to those candidates such that they can reach out to untapped audiences. Perhaps that’s the next major area of innovation that will affect the vote – rather than presenting the candidates in different ways to the voter, reconfigure how the voter and candidate interact. Elsa Sze, founder of Agora, positions the platform as a means to a voice every day: live streaming town hall meetings that anyone can set up at any time, publicly-accessible Q&As, detailed insights for officials. It makes sense, given our current sociocultural landscape, driven by interactivity and choice and media over-saturation; what’s better than being able to easily target your perfect voter and engage in a wholly two-sided, honest dialogue with him or her?

Only time will tell how these advances affect how citizens engage (or not) in our political process. The challenge (as many have mentioned when attempting to disrupt the political process) is adoption – how do you engage reluctant citizens while also providing new value to candidates and their supporters? How do you provide meaningful connections that influence positive social and political change while still capturing an increasingly distracted public’s attention?

Questions aside, it’s hard to deny that, regardless how directly technology is aiming to disrupt the vote, changes in each go hand in hand. I’m curious to see how, in the modern political landscape, how new advances in app development, virtual/augmented reality, hyper-local social networking, and political science bring voter turnout to its next natural progression.

Moving to iOS: an experiment in creative restraint

On Monday I’m receiving a company laptop. I have mixed feelings about this – it inevitably and subliminally will have me working more on trains and on weekends, but I’ll be able to do so much faster than I currently do via Microsoft Remote Desktop.

Why do I bring this up? I bring this up because I have a beautiful, expensive Retina MacBook Pro that I’ve been using for the bulk of all my work for almost 3 years. It’s my indispensable sidekick for recording music, writing, (attempts at) coding, managing my finances, pretty much everything. Since starting my current job, though, I’ve started to spend less and less time with it – occasionally pulling it out on crowded trains, opportunistically pushing it to its limits by recording for hours at a time on weekends, painstakingly RDP-ing into my work machine just to run a few SQL queries. Sometimes it sits on a desk for days at a time, neglected.

Now that I’m getting this other laptop, I have even less use for the thing.

I have an iPad Air 2 – this thing is also generally neglected in my household. Alicia will occasionally use it to watch TV in bed, and I’ll occasionally check Twitter or read some blogs with it, but that’s about it. I had downloaded Ulysses for iOS a few months back thinking I could use this iPad as a blogging machine, but even that felt redundant with the MacBook Pro.

I realized, however, that the work laptop has given me an opportunity to change the way I work outside of my day job a bit. After reading about the amazing power in the new iPads and the app potential brought by iOS 9, I’ve decided to run some day-to-day experiments using the iPad Air 2 in attempting to make it my primary computer.

The iPad does not replace coffee.

There’s already been a ton of writing on this – I’m really happy to have dug into the writings on iPad on MacStories, Daring Fireball, the Music App Blog and other sites, so I have plenty of foundational ideas to work with. I’m interested in seeing how I can leverage my iPad for my personal use cases:

  • rapid blogging in Ulysses,
  • music recording in Auria Pro with a plethora of synth/sampler/effects apps wired together via Audiobus,
  • pseudo-local website development with Working Copy, Coda and Transmit,
  • managing my music, technical and personal projects with Trello and various stock iOS apps

…and I’m sure many more along the way. I’m mainly interested in testing just how portable my tech can be and moving to a single operating system (that is, iOS), but I’m also curious as to what new possibilities there are brought by the iOS framework and app ecosystem.

More to come. I should probably start getting used to this tiny keyboard…

Google sometimes drops the ball because Google is a massive company

The other day I finally subscribed to Connected, a great consumer tech podcast, and in their most recent episode, Federico rants about the inconsistent feature support across Google’s iOS apps. (He ranted about it 2 months prior, and the rant still stands.) They’ve failed to provide consistent support for now-core iPad features, including support for the iPad Pro’s bigger screen and Split View. How can you write in Google Docs and do research simultaneously without split view?

Not even being sarcastic. I have to imagine it’s really annoying and hard. If I had an iPad Pro, I’d probably agree with him; in fact I’d probably stop using those apps altogether until Google made them work for me. It sucks even more to notice that Google has updated some of their apps with support for these features. But why not the others, arguably the ones that are the most widely used purely in a productivity context?

I was listening to his rant on my way into work – a place of work where I am one of over 4,000 employees. I started thinking about the different projects that are in flight at any given time within my company and reminded myself: I have no idea who is held accountable for some of those projects. Who knows if they have the same priorities that I do? In just nine months at my current company, I’ve had to deal with multiple fits and starts around projects that involved multiple key teams, only to find out that those teams suddenly had to prioritize these same projects completely differently than mine, due to other external factors beyond my control.

Google is an even more massive organization. It has over 10,000 employees working on any number of products or initiatives. There are teams of hundreds dedicated to Google Docs, Google Sheets, Google Drive, even just the different iterations of messaging (Hangouts & Voice & Chat across all platforms). Each of those teams contain different people, each with strengths and weaknesses and a certain propensity to work harder or less hard than others, or even make occasional mistakes. They also may have different priorities, backlogs and possibly even internal politics.

We have to remind ourselves that each of these factors may translate into different results per product. I would bet that Drive (which coincidentally I think is one of the best Google apps on iOS) has a lot more of its core functionality together and had the capacity to fit split-view support into its roadmap shortly after it was announced. Docs (or more specifically, Docs for iOS) is probably run by a different team that still hasn’t been able to prioritize one of these features. Or perhaps they have it built and in a testing phase, but some QA analyst ran into a massive, crippling bug that Spilt View caused in Docs for iOS but was not a problem in the other iOS apps. Maybe there’s another feature they’ve been pushing for that took precedence over Split View or caused a UX problem when rendering on the larger iPad Pro screen.

Remember when Google+ finally got its Material Design update for iOS almost a year after it did for Android, even after people declared it dead? Why does the Google Analytics, one of the most widely used Google business tools, have a terrible iOS app with an outdated icon and no 6+ screen support? When was the last time anyone tried out Google Earth for iOS? Did you even know that Google has a dedicated Street View app separate from Google Maps? Who decided to make that?

These apps are different priorities for different teams under the same friendly Google brand, so we can’t be surprised when their adoption of features or design principles aren’t totally consistent.

Managing a product roadmap is hard. Managing a roadmap for a single product that plays nice with the roadmaps of other products under a single company is exponentially harder. As frustrating as it can be to see individual products under a brand fall behind others, it’s worth reminding ourselves about these difficulties – especially with amazing new features on which we rely in some contexts of our daily lives.

A small set of apps to keep me creative

There’s something I keep having to remind myself: no matter how little time I have to put into art, I’m still an artist.

Still an artist, still making art. Music’s my medium of choice. Finding time to work on it is hard though, between wedding planning, an increasingly-demanding day job, other side projects – when can I play or write some music, dammit?

Short, obvious answer: block my time like nobody’s business. That at least gets me time dedicated to working on the things I want to be working on. Once I’m there, how can I explore purely creative ideas and save them when my brain is full of all this other stuff? Equally short, equally obvious answer: technology helps me. But how?

I used to think that Evernote should be my catch-all for organizing my stuff to stay focused: important notes, snippets, ideas, lyrics, receipts, anything possibly necessary to retrieve in the future. Tagging and shortcuts, stacks o’ notebooks, so much control. I tried storing my lyrics, song ideas, high level album cycle plans, even task lists and reminders in there – but, as others have noted, I ended up overwhelmed anytime I even attempted to find something in the depths of Evernote’s robust (to a fault) categorization system. I had access to too many things all the time – I had to remember which tags corresponded to what in my bizarre system of organization, not to mention the hours blown trying to establish the system in the first place.

Then I tried 2Do for a while – I figured that if I could abstract my tasks out of their various places into a single, meticulously organized place, I could get to all the other pertinent content via links. 2Do’s various features are great – but again I felt overwhelmed, like I was spending more time organizing my ideas than actually executing on them.

I realized that these approaches contradicted my way of thinking through my various blurbs of information when I need them.

So I worked out a new system. Here’s what my core criteria was for this:

  • I cannot put all my things in one place, due to the sheer overwhelming of having to parse through it all each time.
  • Centralize the blurbs in the app best for those blurbs. For instance, the app that gets me quickest to my notes is the best one for the most important or most frequently used notes.
  • More abstract ideas that require gestation and iteration don’t require as quick access, but I need the flexibility to adjust, merge, rearrange those notes as my ideas come to fruition.
  • Markdown is amazing, but some ideas may require sketching, images, etc. so I can’t limit myself to just text.
  • I need this system to play nice with day-job work and creative work.

Turns out I was able to devise a system that works for me quite well – and it’s not far off from what others have written about recently. Here’s a shortlist of the apps I use in this system:

Reminders.app: my high-level starting point

Apple’s stock Reminders is what holds all my shit together. I tried using so many different task management apps and realized that the overcomplexity of these apps was what caused all my wasted time and lost focus in the first place. With iOS 9 and El Capitan, I can now save virtually anything to a Reminders list and have direct access to that thing, regardless of where it lives. I can even dump tasks straight into a list thanks to 3D Touch.

Disclaimer: A big reason why I went with Reminders was due to iOS Exchange integration. We use Exchange at my work, whose Tasks feature I rely on to organize to-dos each day. Having access to them on my phone is invaluable, and while I loved 2Do for my personal projects, I haven’t found a great iOS task manager that handles Exchange tasks.

I have a few key lists I rely on:

  • I created an “Inbox” list that functions as my collector of tasks. I rely on Siri and share extensions to put everything into this list, and I sort out as needed later.
  • I have a list for each major focus area: Wayfair (via Exchange), Sophomores, wedding planning, writing topics (for the blogs I contribute to), etc. I also have a generic “big goals” list for personal bucket-list items (starting a podcast, writing a book, etc.)
  • I also have a few lists for other things to reference: stuff to buy (Shopping), stuff to watch/listen (Media), stuff to take care of around the house (the Family list I share with Alicia).
  • I rely on Smart Reminders to link to the given Note, Trello board, Ulysses sheet, or whatever else is pertinent to the given task. These were pretty problematic for the first few revisions of iOS 9, but the 6th beta of iOS 9.3 seems to have fixed most of the problems I’ve had.
  • The default “Reminders” list itself is used for everything I need to do on a particular day, but I don’t care about until that day. Recurring tasks reside here, like laundry, taking out the trash or renewing my driver’s license.

My one gripe with Reminders is a simple limitation on iOS: only manual sorting. The OS X Reminders app lets me sort easily by priority or due date, but I can only manually sort on iOS. If Apple adds a sorting feature to Reminders (like they’re doing with Notes), Reminders will finally be an app you might not scoff at.

Notes.app: for all quick note access & entry

Apple’s surprisingly pretty (to me – sorry, haters) and nimble Notes is my go-to for quick essentials: important links, high-level project plans and lists, account numbers (thanks, password lock!), stuff like that. I also use it as a less technical Drafts clone, for quick note-taking (thanks 3D Touch!) for sharing to other apps when needed. The goal here is to get to important things quickly and start writing quickly.

I’ve started to find Notes really useful for quick lists at a lower level than Reminders – for example, production & mix notes. I listen back to my demos constantly while on-the-go, and I’m constantly writing down ideas and feedback for them. I don’t want to create a single Reminders list for each song or album I’m working on – that feels too heavy – but I can create a note for the songs I’m working on, and then create a Smart Reminder about them so I don’t forget to review those notes next time I’m in the home studio.

Ulysses: for all creative / open-ended writing

Ulysses has become my ultimately creative scratchpad. Lyric ideas, blog post topics, sketches for a book I may write. The beauty of Ulysses is that it allows for endless organization, reorganization, merging, splitting and impeccable Markdown formatting of text.

In my workflow, this app (and how I use it) is especially important because it ONLY contains creative writing: blog drafts, lyrics, ideas for novel or album concepts, etc. I don’t get distracted by other life stuff when I have Ulysses open full-screen on my Mac or iPhone (like right now as I write this!), so I can actually focus on finishing that song or

Ulysses’ new iPhone app is totally invaluable, too, so I can do any of the above on the go. I didn’t at first value this since I typically need a keyboard for writing lots of text quickly – but now I can easily review my writing and rework snippets of it anywhere I like, without having to wait.

Trello: for all collaborative work

Trello is everything collaborative. Now that Trello’s iOS app is just as solid as it’s beautiful web interface (and I can jump across either via Handoff) I can easily share ideas with my collaborators or comment on theirs. I rely on this for mixing/mastering my music with my friend James, planning trips with Alicia and building apps with some of my NYC friends.

Thanks to Smart Reminders, I can also reference any board or card on a Reminders list and quickly jump back to it later. For instance, if James sends me a new mix via Trello comment, I can pull it up via push notification and then immediately tell Siri to remind me about it next time I can give it a serious listen.

Pause: for focus-switching and relaxation

Pause is one of those mindfulness apps, and I’m experimenting with it in my creative workflow. It’s allowing me to clear my head of the other life noise by just relaxing my motor functions before jumping into a recording session, new blog post or brain dump. I usually use it for a few seconds before jumping straight into a new context.

reminders-notes-ulysses-trello


I used to think that over-organizing my life was necessary in order to achieve what I wanted to do creatively – but all I ended up with was tasks on tasks on tasks, multi-tier prioritization systems and even a literal Gantt chart at one point. All I needed was an easy way to see what was most important at any given time for a particular context, be able to act on it easily and without distraction, and discipline myself to switch contexts mindfully. This system seems to be working out well for me – let’s see how it works out over time.

It’s a glorious day when Apple fixes your bug (UPDATE: oops, still broken)

UPDATE 3-16-16: I did some more thorough tests on my iPhone and MacBook Pro and have run into the Smart Reminders linking bug again – specifically when adding links from Safari on my Mac, then opening them up on my phone. Back to Apple Support forums. Ugh.

It takes a minor miracle to get Apple to fix a bug in any of its software or services. Just look at all the discussion threads about bugs on their forum.

The thing that’s been killing me for months? Dumb Smart Reminders. Apple claimed that, in iOS 9 and OS X El Capitan, you’d be able to remind yourself about virtually anything on your device – a note, a text message, a Trello card, a file on your FTP server – and the reminder would be saved with a simple contextual link for quick access.

Problem is, it’s been categorically broken. Ironically enough, it’s broken when you try to use your phone in the way Apple keeps pushing us to use it – through Siri’s (admittedly mostly great) voice recognition.

If you wanted to remind yourself about a website you were viewing on your phone, and you decided to use Siri to do that, Reminders would (sometimes) create a link correctly to Safari. If you happened to have another app installed on your phone at all (in my case, Ticketmaster, Google Chrome and TripAdvisor), Reminders would instead link to one of those apps – then if I tried to access the website, iOS would attempt to open Ticketmaster and fail to render the website. I’m not the only one with this problem; it apparently happens unpredictably with any number of apps that you may or may not use.

tripadvisor-reminders

Argh.

It wouldn’t have been as infuriating if this was only an issue on iOS – but of course it happened in OS X too. If I saved the same website to Reminders on my Mac using Safari, for some reason, Reminders would instead create a link to Chrome. This wasn’t as bad – at least the site would load – but when you’re like me and strictly use your web browsers for specific reasons (eg. Safari for personal, Chrome for work), this gets annoying.

The worst part, though, was that I could totally see what was happening: if I uninstalled TripAdvisor from my iPhone, Reminders would stop linking to it – but instead link to Ticketmaster. Then it’d link to Chrome if I uninstalled Ticketmaster. If I reinstalled TripAdvisor, it’d start linking there again. Basically, Reminders would work without any other apps potentially risking the link to Safari. You’d think that Apple coded this such that Reminders was aware of the source app of the Reminder, and persisted that link forever. There was some dumb app prioritization happening that was causing TripAdvisor to take preference over Ticketmaster, which got preference over Chrome, which got preference over Safari. (No offense to any of these apps, they’re all great – which is why I have them on my phone, god damnit.)

So, while I wanted to use Reminders for exactly what Apple intended it for, I couldn’t, and had to rely on another (admittedly great, but not for me) app, 2Do, to manage my tasks.


Six days ago Apple released the sixth (sixth!) public beta of iOS 9.3. Yesterday morning, I got frustrated because I was duplicating task lists for my upcoming wedding in both Trello and 2Do – so I decided to try out Reminders again. Saving Trello cards as a Reminder seemed to work. Saving a Note seemed to work. Reminding myself about something in my Amazon wish list worked. Even a stupid webpage someone had sent me went correctly into a Reminders list.

IMG_0154

Yesterday was a glorious day.

Eight months, in an office

10 months ago, I was living what I thought was a dream: working remotely for a decently-buzzed tech startup where I was the lead product guy. I could work in my underwear, start and end whenever I wanted, have free reign to work and travel wherever I pleased.

Then in May, said startup laid me (and pretty much everyone else) off with a week’s notice.

I had seen this coming for almost a year for various reasons I won’t get into – but what did surprise me was the ease of getting back on my financial feet. Those of us who got laid off were offered a new job pretty quickly by Wayfair, an e-commerce giant also based in Boston. So that’s where I ended up.

Eight months later, I find myself finally in my element again. The first three months in this job were total culture shock: I was uncomfortable around so many people, all of them wanting to talk to me all about the work and nothing but the work. I was frustrated with having to commute to an office at all, let alone walking down the street like I would regularly do in New York.

But over the last few months, I figured out a rhythm to make it work for me. It’s certainly not a perfect situation – but then again, what job is, really? – but I’ve had some time to reflect about being in an office again.

(Disclaimer: this is primarily about the experience of working in an office environment, particularly after a stint in startup culture, and is in no way intended to be a reflection of the work I do, or my employer, at all.)


Wayfair employs thousands of people and has an office right next to Copley Square in Boston. When you walk into the office for the first time, it’s hard to not feel like you’re part of something massive, given just how many people are flocking to the Copley Plaza complex between 8 and 9am. You’d think one of the stores in the Copley Plaza Mall was having a blowout – nope, these are just Wayfair employees trudging into work.

After a few weeks, though, the awe of big company size and impact turns into drone-like fatigue…especially as wintertime sets in. Droves of sleepy, freezing employees passing through subway turnstiles, huddling underneath half-broken umbrellas and avoiding puddles of slush (and being forced above ground to avoid MBTA construction), just to stare at a PC screen and talk in corporate-speak.

Simply having to be at the mercy of weather sucks. When I was working from home, if it was snowing out, I could just stay inside. I technically have the facilities to work from home in my current job, too – so it can be frustrating to eschew all this technological capability just to be present in the office culture. Wayfair has offices in several locations around the US and Europe; I can’t tell you how many times I questioned my battling of snowstorms to get into the office, only to sit on calls with my Berlin colleagues all day.

That said, if you’re stuck on calls all day at home, you might never leave the house. Get this: working in an office forces you out into the world. This is something I completely took for granted as a remote worker – I would occasionally run out to a coffee shop for a while to get stuff done, but nothing was more comforting than parking it on my couch for 9 hours straight save bathroom and lunch breaks.

Speaking of which, when you begin to compare home-work and office-work life, tiny subtle details start to surface about your lifestyle. For instance, The cost of your utilities start to become something you scrutinize monthly – I drastically underestimated how much I was spending to run electricity and heat during the ’14-’15 winter while working at home. Finding food to eat in an office is a really hit-or-miss thing, depending on where your office (or home) is located. I have the benefit of being right near Copley Square, where food trucks and solid restaurants abound. My last office job was in an awkward part of East Cambridge, MA, where our best culinary options were in a mall food court. At home, you’re really at the mercy of your grocery list or what (if any) restaurants are nearby; back in NYC, this wasn’t a problem, but in quieter parts of the world, this could certainly be a drawback.

Everyone who Product Manages knows the difficulty of trying to herd cats – oops, I mean colleagues – toward a shared product vision, and this difficulty is only amplified when doing it from afar. Being in the office ensures presence from everyone who matters, including my/yourself. I find myself more productive overall, simply because I had face time with colleagues working on projects with me – and no at-home distractions, like my guitars or my television. I can also use my commute to unwind and/or focus on things I’d never be able to focus on given those distractions. I’ve started writing again simply because I have over an hour of “free time” on the train every day.

Working in an office can be painfully social. To avoid talking only about the work, you need to find common interests with your colleagues: in Boston, it’s generally assumed that this is Boston sports. If you’re not actively following the Bruins/Pats/Sox (or worse yet, following another city’s team) you’re already at a disadvantage. I’ve come to develop a personal brand around music snobbery, pop culture savvy and a more casual tone, which people seem to appreciate outside of my general apathy for sports.

Once you figure your general vibe out, though, working in an office can be delightfully social. You actually start to make friends and engage in social conversations and outings you never would’ve had sitting at home or in a coffee shop all day long. Sure, there’s spontaneity involved with serendipitously meeting new people at your local coffee shop, but there’s something equally spontaneous in the side conversations that happen at work. My aforementioned music snobbery may manifest itself during a discussion of weekend plans, which may lead to a colleague/friend to check out a band with.

And what happens when the work gets to be too much, and you find yourself stuck at the office all day? Isn’t that the beauty of working wherever you choose? What about those giant cultish companies who directly incentivize their employees to spend all waking hours at the office, or even sleep there?

Well, so, you can just leave. If there’s more work to be done, and your company has a VPN, you can catch up on work at home after having a lovely dinner at a reasonable hour with your significant other. I’ve come to realize (again) the importance of balance – not necessarily the lofty, unattainable “work/life balance” construct of 9-5, but finding a personal balance where I’m challenging myself and working hard, but not burning myself out and still finding time to reflect and find fulfillment elsewhere in my life.


Certain parts of the tech/startup industry paint office culture as a thing of the past, rendered unnecessary by new collaboration technology. Fully-distributed organizations are popping up everywhere, promising uber flexibility and balance. I admire these companies’ ability to embrace technology to try and bring more happiness to their employees – though it is certainly not perfect either. Remember that distributed companies (or remote work at all) is a fairly new concept, far from perfected by any one organization – and the larger the company is that you work for, the harder it is to adapt the necessary processes and technology to enable that flexibility.

All in all? I certainly don’t hate everything. My commute is sometimes frustrating, as can be the work, but that’s part of dealing with everyday life. I genuinely like quite a few of my colleagues (both in and outside of work), which after being remote for a while is quite refreshing. And I’ve achieved a balance that, at least for now, I’m happy with.

The question I now find myself asking more frequently is: where does this go? Do I advance up the food chain of a strong brand with its corporate quirks, or do I keep my hand in some things that could result in more personal freedom? What will ultimately make me a better, happier person?

Well, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

On malaise in tech, or how I learned to find products that embrace true problem-solving

I originally wrote this for the Mathys+Potestio blog, this really cool employment agency based in Portland, Oregon. Here’s the link to the original post.

Apple and Google and Facebook and Microsoft and Amazon.
These are the big 5 in consumer tech, and the most commonly used apps on your phone are probably made by some or all of them. Nobody is going to knock them out of their ivory towers. If you go on any tech blog you will almost certainly find no less than 3 articles in the last week about each of these 5 companies (okay, maybe a few others – but you know which ones they are).

I’m a product manager by day, so I spend a lot of time analyzing and collecting feedback on the products and how they solve real user problems. Part of my job also involves being aware of other products solving similar or other problems, so I read about those products the top tech businesses are working on, as well as new ones via sites like Product Hunt. But this is starting lose its luster for me – as I recently wrote on my own blog, I’m becoming less and less impressed with the true problem solving being done by makers of products. It gets old to read about a new photo sharing app every week – why try and address the growing wealth inequality problems in the US? Or the terribly slow pace of government action? Or even the racket that is the wedding industry (a problem currently near & dear to my heart)?

Turns out I’m not alone in my jadedness, so much so that some are quitting the “tech journalism” beat altogether. If you feel jaded by this stuff too, it’s valid – but, again, I don’t blame anybody in particular. Tech products, and those who make them, have just as much a tendency to follow trends as any other sector of popular culture – social products, smart on-demand services and lists of resources are hot right now, so all the makers are trying to make those things. (Oh god, what if someone builds a social network for on-demand delivery workers?)

Behind all the throwaway social networks and overpriced delivery apps, though, there’s even more people building truly interesting, difference-making things for the world. This is probably not a huge surprise, given the number of charitable organizations, biotech firms and activist groups out there. But hold up – you don’t need to look only at these types of groups to find great, innovative solutions being developed to solve tough social and economic problems. Startups (and even individuals) are building these things, using the same cutting-edge (and overhyped) technology and design and business models you read about on tech blogs. You know those things called “hackathons” that media has portrayed to us as high-energy bro-outs? (Thanks, The Social Network…) These people are actually using those to address social problems with great technology.

In fact, if there is a social, political or economic issue that interests you, there’s probably at least a few startups or products out there aiming to tackle that issue in some way or another in some new way. Here’s just a few products that are solving real problems in critical spaces that are worth checking out (each of which even use some buzz-wordy tech or design concept you might be sick of hearing about!)

Interested in helping out a charity? Compute for Humanity uses your computer to mine cryptocurrencies, then automatically donate the output to charities. I recently installed this on my own Mac and was pleasantly surprised that it required absolutely nothing of the machine or my time, and yet in a few hours I had generated a couple bucks. I’ve generated $22.64 so far, again, for doing literally nothing.

Why is this remarkable? Cryptocurrencies! No work for the end-user! But also real money going to real, unsketchy charitable organizations like Pencils of Promise and GlobalGiving.

Want to help people with disabilities? Be My Eyes is an app that lets you help out a blind person from anywhere. Remember this thing? It got a fair share of journalistic praise a year ago but naturally fell out of the limelight – not for any reason in particular other than that people’s attention moved elsewhere. It’s worth reminding ourselves, however, that this is an app that literally helps blind people see. That in itself is an amazing feat we shouldn’t forget about.

Why is this remarkable? (Sort of) social networking! Unconventional use of the iPhone camera! But also it helps blind people.

Want to be more socially conscious? Archives + Absences is an app that notifies you anytime a cop kills a minority in the US. This is based on real data from The Guardian – it’s not a joke. If you are interested in the struggle of minorities in this country, you should download this app now, if anything to set context for yourself.

Why is this remarkable? The most minimal design ever! Push notifications! But also they’re about actual deaths surrounding a controversial social topic.

Know somebody with substance abuse issues and want to try and help?Addicaid is an app that aims to make drug & alcohol recovery a little more comfortable. You can find recovery groups nearby, get tips, maintain a plan, and evaluate your progress toward recovery, all while completely anonymous if desired.

Why is this remarkable? Material design! But also it helps people with real, crippling problems get a little closer to solving them.

Interest in the problems of America’s legal system? Ravel, Everlaw, Judicata and others aiming to make the practice of law, and lawyers, more affordable. The first two are building tools to help make law firms more efficient in their operations, and the third is aiming to capture the “law genome” to simplify complex legal decisions for lawyers and everyday people. As Judicata says, “Legal research isn’t just about finding needles; it’s about understanding the haystack too.“

Why is this remarkable? Big data! But also, lawyers are really expensive and law firms are incredibly inefficient right now.

Generally interested in major social issues and understanding their impact? SumAll.org, a tech non-profit hellbent on “empowering change makers to maximize their social impact through data.” They build amazing, sometimes-interactive studies on key humanitarian issues including human trafficking, homelessness and the Syrian refugee crisis. Its founder, Dane Atkinson, wanted tech to create a tangible impact for social good, and formed the foundation out of a portion of his social marketing tech company, SumAll (including its technology).

Why is this remarkable? Data science! But also, the topics they’re covering are, like, really bad things.

Products and businesses, when done right, are about solving problems, not chasing ideas. It’s worth reminding ourselves that in the midst of product/maker overload, that there are millions of people making great, incredibly important products, and they’re even publicizing them – they’re just a little bit harder to find.

Product Hunt for abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

The other day I came across Telescope, a product that lets anyone launch their own community site, Product Hunt-style. Just when you think you’ve seen too many “Product Hunt for X” sites, someone gives you the ability to generate as many of them as humanly possible.

It’s not inherently a bad or stupid idea, I swear. But every time someone develops some sort of platform that “lets you make your very own X”, I get a little terrified at the implications that platform may have on society – or, more specifically, the silly ideas that the platform enables. If the “Uber for X” mentality gave us things like this, I can’t imagine what a well-marketed “Product Hunt for X” solution gives us.

Because I get bored during my commute sometimes, I came up with a few ideas for Telescope sites that I thought might be good1. Yay for rapid brainstorming!

  • Anxiety Hunt: submit what’s making you anxious at any particular moment; others can upvote the things that they’re also anxious about. Let’s all be upfront about our insecurities, k? (Speaking of which, is Post Secret still a thing?)
  • Bitch Hunter Hunt: Upvote the best lines from the amazing, non-existent movie starring Will Ferrell, Bitch Hunter.
  • Crack Overflow: Stack Overflow, but for people who periodically suffer from plumber’s crack. (What do you post on a site like that? I don’t know, I wear skinny jeans.)
  • Duck Duck Hunt Hunt: post and upvote screenshots and videos of your favorite moments from the classic game, Duck Hunt.
  • Ethan Hunt: Product Hunt for all things Mission: Impossible.
  • Fuck Hunt: Basically, Product Hunt for porn. V2: import the top voted porn images into a live web version of Duck Hunt!
  • Grunt Hunt: Inspired by Eugene Mirman’s I’m Sorry, You’re Welcome, this gem lets users upload and vote on the best interpretations of various sound effects performed by their own speaking voice.
  • Helen Hunt: Product Hunt for all people in the world named Helen. Vote which ones you think are the best! Except Helen Hunt, of course.
  • I Hunt Myself: For the ultimate narcissist, this platform allows you to submit virtually anything you care about and upvote them based on your personal ranking of those things. The twist? You’re the only one who can access your list. And every upvote triggers a little “Me me me!” sound effect.
  • Jerk Hunt: Product Hunt for douchebags. You literally post about a shitty person and something shitty they did, and people agree with you. The worst people are highest voted. We’re terrible people, right?
  • Karma Hunt: Post something good you did for somebody, and people upvote the most charitable acts. Do you get any actual good karma from this? Probably not. It’s mostly self-serving.
  • Luck Hunt: Product Hunt, but if you're the Xth person to upvote something, you win money. THIS IS THE NEXT LEVEL OF FANTASY SPORTS, BABIES.
  • Meta Hunt: Product Hunt for “Product Hunt for X” sites. Product Hunt is sort of already this, but I figure let’s cut out the BS and make a site dedicated to this thing.
  • Nuck Hunt: Same as the aforementioned Fuck Hunt, but for Canadians.
  • Oregon Trail, Telescope Edition: This version of insanity takes the original beloved computer game, The Oregon Trail, and puts every possible scenario in a list. You have a limited number of upvotes and can use them toward rations, game, diseases – literally everything the game has to offer – and the game returns a likeliness of you surviving the Oregon Trail with those decisions. Basically, a way less fun version of the game.
  • Problem Hunt: Upvote actual problems around which people should build products to solve – they can be any problems, large or small. (Disclaimer: this one’s kind of a real idea, and it already existed once as Real Problem Hunt but was shut down – I think this deserves to come back at some point.)
  • Quote Pilot: You know all those sites with huge lists of inspirational quotes? Ever want to make your own soundbyte-y quote? Submit it here and people upvote the most moving ones. Because we need more inspirational quotes every day!
  • Reverse Hunt: Vote for the least cool things. The less votes, the better. Countercultures, unite.
  • Sidetracked: the Game: submit something that distracted you today – anything at all. Other people upvote the things also distracting them. The test: seeing how many of those things you can avoid clicking on. It’s totally a game!
  • Telescope Hunt: Product Hunt for all sites made with the Telescope platform. (No relation to Meta Hunt, of course…)
  • Uber Hunt: Product Hunt for Uber drivers. Or is it Uber for Product Hunt fans? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!
  • Viral Hunt: Product Hunt, but with auto-sharing upon every upvote. You thought you couldn't post any more content to your followers? Think again!
  • Witch Hunt: Post people you think are witches, and then others can upvote if they agree with you. Then we burn the highest-voted ones at the stake!
  • X for Product Hunt: Post and upvote features for Product Hunt. (This isn't actually that bad of an idea for a feature request tool…?)
  • Yerba Hunté: Upvote the best kinds of maté…?
  • Zoo Hunt: Zoo animals. Which ones are the best? I’m done with this list.
  1. That is, ideas that will probably get made regardless of whether they’re actually good. In fact, most of these are completely ridiculous. But so are people who insist on making their own “hunt” sites for every possible niche they can think of. Yay products! ↩︎

Peak live music, or no more surprises

What do you do when you stop caring about something you used to love?

I moved to Salem, MA and basically stopped actively seeking live music. I still see live music – say, when my girlfriend and I go out to brunch and a jazz band happens to be performing there, or when a once-in-a-lifetime performance in the city happens – but for years I would spend hundreds of dollars almost every month trying to see as many bands as possible. There were so many possibilities, even in “our music scene is dying” Boston – I would frequent Great Scott and Harper’s Ferry/Brighton Music Hall and The Middle East and (begrudgingly) TT the Bear’s (just kidding, RIP).

I don’t think it’s because I’m getting older. I don’t think it’s even because bands aren’t impressing me anymore. I still listen to recorded music constantly and find new bands via blogs and Apple Music and friends’ posts.

I do think saturation has something to do with it. Software is eating the world and the Internet is eating media, and both of these things are eating our ability to be surprised. The barrier to entry for anyone to become a musician is virtually gone, and it’s really easy for anyone with a slight ego to fight for your attention. The barrier to entry to start a blog or generate commentary on said music is also gone, so with every million bands that form, there are 100 million people ready to comment on said bands.

So you have tons of musicians out there, striving to outdo each other with better performances and more inventive production in order to satisfy the even more so-called critics. The caliber of the average musician is so much higher as a result – and every musician is looking to surprise you, the listener-critic, constantly. Every night holds hundreds of amazing shows competing for your time & attention – secret exclusive shows, bizarre live rigs, intense theatrics, warm acoustic sets – all of which are constantly trying to compete for your interest. It’s all amazing…until it’s all the same to you.

And so I’ve become desensitized to the ability to be surprised by live music.

I’ve been meaning to write about being a musician on the North Shore of MA and how live performance here is different than, say, Brooklyn or Cambridge or other major cities with credible music scenes. I wanted to write about the fact that there is a small but lively group of musicians hopping up and down the shore, playing long & extremely entertaining sets in front of small, passionate North Shore crowds at quaint restaurants and bars. I wanted to write about the scene being smaller, thus allowing me to have a shot of regularly performing with a tight-knit group of collaborators.

None of that has actually happened, and that’s on me. But when you struggle to be surprised by anyone else performing, how can you expect to be inspired to surprise others with your own performance?

Goal: by April, have a live acoustic/looper set prepared and book a show. Try it out.

On Macs and focus

I own an iPad, but I really only use it to watch Netflix in bed with my fiancée since my iPhone 6s Plus is just too small enough for both of us to watch simultaneously. Outside of this pretty obvious use case, I’ve struggled to find a purpose for the gorgeous device in my life.

Everywhere I turn, though, I read about another person finding the iPad completely invaluable in their daily lives. It now exceeds the processing power of the average PC; its app ecosystem is generally much cheaper than the PC app ecosystem; it’s “more fun” to use than any device before. A lot of people who write about the iPad suggest that it allows for a level of focus beyond what Macs or PCs can allow.

I call bullshit. Anyone who says the Mac is too distracting has not given the Mac a fair shot since, well, 2 or 3 versions ago of OS X. Apple has made a series of beautiful, powerhouse laptops, build for demanding technical work – that also happen to be incredibly pleasant to use and conducive to focus.

I’m not suggesting that the iPad isn’t a great device – it truly is a pleasure to use. However, so are Macs, and some tech pundits seem to forget this. Efficiency on a Mac isn’t even a question worth asking – sure, you eschew a touch screen for a keyboard & multi-touch trackpad, but the sheer ergonomics of having both the keyboard & trackpad within millimeters of each other compared to jumping between keyboard and screen are staggering. Sometimes you want to lay back and relax, but when you need to work, the Mac wins every time.

The question really is about one’s ability to focus on a single task or project while working on a laptop/desktop computer. Tons of people have written about this. Those same people have tried incessantly for years to justify usage of an iPad for as many possible use cases as possible: blogging, note-taking, long-form writing, designing, music producing, analyzing spreadsheets, chatting with many people at once. I keep asking myself: what’s the goal of being able to do all these things on an iPad, other than attempting to justify my impulse purchase of an iPad?

If the goal is focus, I’ve wanted to try and tame the beast and have my Mac work to my advantage. Basically, a means of avoiding this:

Screen Shot 2016-01-26 at 8.15.04 PM

Hey, guess what? It's really to avoid the above with really minimal effort and discipline. Between the iterative improvements brought to OS X and its huge app ecosystem, it's really easy to make a Mac your portable productivity powerhouse. (Alliteration intentional.) And while the Mac app ecosystem is technically smaller than that of iOS, that has its benefits: less crap to weed through.

I have to give Apple props for identifying the key aspects that make iOS so pleasant to use and employing them in some fashion within OS X. For instance:

Launchpad is a solid app launcher and organizer; after a bit of reorganizing, it effectively replicates the iOS home screen. With Spotlight (or the more powerful Alfred) on top of this, finding and opening an app on a Mac is far quicker than anything performed on an iPad.

Screen Shot 2016-01-16 at 10.03.10 PM

Full-screen mode and Mission Control in El Capitan is arguably an even more elegant app switcher than iOS 9’s. Split screen mode is actually useful on my MacBook Pro unlike the iPad Air 2.

Screen Shot 2016-01-16 at 10.04.08 PM

Automator isn't new or even quite that extensive without mild technical know-how, but Workflow wouldn't be the iOS powerhouse it is without Automator coming first.

Plus, you can enable Do Not Disturb just like an iOS device.

Still having trouble focusing after trying these wonderful solutions? There's apps for that, including two literally called Focus (here and here) – some of which also have iOS counterparts but many of which are Mac exclusives such as:

  • Bartender, a great menu bar cleaner-upper
  • Hazel, an automatic file organizer so you don't have to clean your crap up yourself
  • Alfred, an amazing launcher and workflow tool that allows you to quickly ask a question or start something without pulling yourself away from the task at hand.
  • Ulysses, Byword, 1Writer, ia Writer, or any other number of free/cheap minimal writing apps for writing without distraction

Some of these are real boons to focus, like the first Focus app, which blocks you from accessing distracting websites and replaces them with inspirational quotes. I could argue that this makes the Mac BETTER for focus than the iPad, since you can actually stop Facebook from loading after you impulsively type the "f" into your browser's address bar. Can't really make the impulsive tap on the FB app icon on your iPad less compelling than it already is.


Disclaimer: I use a MacBook Pro with Retina Display, which has a solid state drive and 16GB RAM, so I’m not really ever concerned about my laptop exceeding the performance needs I have. Yes, it came at a higher price point than the average iPad and I purchased it primarily with music creation in mind.

But considering the top-of-the-line iPad Pro is virtually the same price as (and comparable in spec to) the ultrathin MacBook, it ultimately comes down to user preference. I’m here to suggest that while tablets are so fun and exciting, many of the reasons why find tablets so fun and exciting are right there in your average Apple laptop.

As with any tech write-up, this is my opinion, but I’d love your thoughts too. Agree? Disagree? Let me know. Like how I write? I’d love for you to share this post and follow my writing, either here or on Twitter. Thanks!

On Maker Overload, or why I’m okay with not solving all the problems

Following up on this, which was dead on. In the words of indie darling Courtney Barnett, sometimes I (want to) sit and think, and sometimes I just (want to) sit.

I’m a product manager, which means I spend virtually every weekday (and some weekends) doing two things: solving problems and making things happen to ship good, need-fulfilling products. Anyone who does product management can obviously break this up into many more buckets of duties, glorify it, debate its role in larger business culture, whatever – but that’s essentially what we do.

Sometimes I think I want to build something on my own – I wouldn’t be surprised if most PMs also get this urge. Thanks to a handful of tools that now exist, virtually anyone with Internet access and some spare time can build anything in a matter of hours or days. There’s a lot of people who create their own products on their own these days, using free or cheap existing tools, then publish them on sites like Product Hunt and write about them on Medium. When I read all these posts about “makers” making “products,” I react in a few ways.

First, curiosity, then a little bit of envy.

I love that we now have technology and platforms available for anyone to turn some idea into a packaged product in a matter of hours. Some of the problems people have solved are incredibly niche – I would never have thought of them. Sometimes I wish I had.

Then, jealousy-fueled anxiety.

Why aren't I identifying those problems? Why can’t I be making those things? What do those people have that I don't? What do I need in order to build amazing profitable things myself? WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??!!?!!?!!!

Then, a ramble.

Hours and hours on Product Hunt. More things made by more people. Curiosity and anxiety on subsequent repeat.

Then, I'm tired.

I burned myself out worrying about other people's problems instead of solving my own or those problems which I care about.

Why did I do that?


We used to have information overload. Then people rebranded this as #content in an attempt to legitimize it. Now, if the content wasn't enough, we're in maker overload. New startups and new people announcing new products being announced almost every hour on the hour. Call it a lovechild of social media and freelancer culture, both powered by the good ol’ Internet – now everyone can have their own voice, so there’s millions more voices, all yelling incessantly over each other for top placement on your Twitter feed. All so you try the hot new products they each built on their own.

What is the impact of all those new products? Sure, it's huge in aggregate – if anything this is proven by how much pundits are talking about Product Hunt. But what value does each individual new solution to a problem have in the scheme of things?

Product management is really all about solving (the right) problems and enabling the people around you to solve them. Some of the "products" I come across solve problems that aren’t relevant to me at all, but because everyone is posting and writing and tweeting and retweeting about them I run into them anyway. Some of these products don’t solve any problem at all – they generate a problem of their own and attempt to solve it, even if the average person didn’t even need to recognize that as a problem in the first place. Some of those products are really just repackaging the exact same #content that other products already contain, only presented in a slightly different way. Just this year there were 50 products launched, all featured on Product Hunt, that repackage existing tools and content that already wasn’t too hard to find with a bit of Googling. Some of them are totally redundant with each other.

I’m not saying this is inherently a problem – after all, competition makes the world go ‘round. But is this really what makers want to be known for?

Maybe so, or more likely those makers are just trying to make some money or followers. This isn't new – companies have been making redundant products for the sake of staying competitive a long time – but now that the Internet has enabled for a product to get noticed and hyped in a matter of hours, there's too much noise to be continuously making products that don't matter in the scheme of things. It only adds to the information overload, except under the guise of something meant to solve a problem – so people who read about this product (especially those who religiously follow communities like Product Hunt) are inclined to take them more seriously than your standard clickbait. When they do, the maker gets noticed for a day, then just like clickbait, it usually gets lost in the ether of the Internet. Some makers then keep trying to optimize their offering and market fit until something sticks.

Perhaps “maker culture” in tech has also gone the way of the pop music industry.


But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m not suggesting that people stop building things for my own sake. Eventually you might happen across a brilliant solution to a truly challenging problem. Making things to satisfy urges or curiosities, make money, or to grow a personal brand is not inherently problematic – it does, however, create envy within others who aren’t sure they have those same needs. Especially when some of the most “popular” of those products made are redundant with each other or debated incessantly as to whether or not they’re dead.

I thought building my own things was what I should be doing with my life, but it turns out all the product overload is toxic for me. I get into a vicious cycle of anxiety and regret and forced ideation around problem spaces that really don't need solutions at that moment. I don’t personally build things constantly to satisfy some inner need, but I also don’t want to build a career out of making things that follow trends.

I solve problems all day, some of which are incredibly rewarding (like those that make my fiancée happy) and some of which are incredibly dull or frustrating (solved typically between the hours of 9am and 5pm, but even those are sometimes challenging and/or rewarding). In a world where an app can launch and die in a matter, and much of the writing about said app is about whether or not it’s actually dead, I don't want to come home every day and keep doing the same thing – it only stresses me out more. My catharsis is writing songs or posts (like this). Sometimes I want to just watch something mindless or live vicariously through someone else.

And that’s probably why I go on Product Hunt for hours on end. Now I understand the appeal of reality television.

I came into 2016 thinking that I wanted to launch a product, and now that I’m understanding myself better in 2016, the less I feel a need to do that. I have a day job, I better satisfy my curiosities via music and writing, and I don’t have any immediately-obvious solutions to problems I care about. It’s more important to me to be with the people I love and be reflecting and thinking about those problems I do want to solve. If you think you need to be launching products for the sake of launching products, take a minute to think about the merits of doing so. Don’t be a maker just because everyone else is.


Did you enjoy reading this? Feel the same way about maker and product overload? Nice. I’d love a like or share if you do, or you can follow me on Twitter. Thanks!

You Won’t Be Successful, Unless This Post Is

You’ve probably seen a ton of #content appearing on your various social media feeds lately offering inspirational stories, Life Hacks and general tips that might make you a better person. It might not, but at least it’s yet another new thing to try at some point in your miserable life-in-need-of-constant-stimulation-and-improvement.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

You clicked on this post because I wrote a highly-targeted, urgent, actionable title that caught your eye. I got you with a trope. You idiot.

I, however, am an influencer. And I would like to influence you. Did you know that the following people employed tactics to lead successful lives?

  • Steve Jobs
  • Mark Zuckerberg
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Sheryl Sandberg
  • Richard Branson
  • Howard Schultz
  • Warren Buffett
  • George Soros
  • Barack Obama
  • Most of the other writers on Medium

You probably did learn this by reading or hearing about it somewhere else. But I don’t care about that. I want you to think of me and this post next time you think about any of those famous, successful people. I want you to consume my #content and subscribe to my #newsletter and buy my endorsed #products, so I will inject myself into your life wherever and however I can. You will thank me for whatever Life Hack or tactic or change you made to your life, and consuming all that I spew is the first step.

So, to recap:

You are basically a massive failure until you follow all the points I lay out below.

1. Like and recommend this post and all my other Medium posts.

You might have read dozens, even hundreds of tips, posts, articles or even novels about what you can do to improve your life. But before recommending any of those, recommend my juicy content first.

2. Tell all your friends and followers to also like and recommend all my Medium posts.

Write your own content on Medium where you link to this article and generally reference my wise words and/or expertise on a field I totally have credibility writing about.

But what about the other social networks, you might ask? Yeah, share this post there too. It’s just more content for your friends and followers to digest. But it’s content YOU endorsed.

3. Follow me on every possible social media network & channel on which you can find me.

If you’re not on a network…well, get on it, dammit. I may or may not have profiles on the following sites:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
  • Google+
  • Vine
  • Periscope
  • Foursquare
  • SoundCloud
  • Spotify
  • Dribble
  • Behance
  • Product Hunt
  • Medium
  • Github
  • various Slack channels
  • Etsy
  • Ello

When in doubt, assume I have a profile there. Follow and watch me as I grow my following of minions!

4. Click on every paid advertisement you see that has my name and/or face on it.

I’m not just talking about the sponsored posts on BuzzFeed, Medium, etc. that I clearly paid for to get your attention; I’m also talking about Facebook ads. I even have an in at Forbes who hooked me up with advertising there – you know the 3 second ad you see every time you open up a Forbes article? You might start to see me there. Click on me there. I’ll make some money and burn my image into your brain some more.

I also have some sponsored content on ESPN. I don’t even like sports.

But I LOVE developing my brand shamelessly.

5. Subscribe to my newsletter (because of course I have one) and read it, every single time you receive it, to completion.

Because I know how much you love and value every single email in your fucking inbox. You might already be subscribed to the newsletters of various other writers, marketers and influencers – so what’s another?

Also make sure to click every link in the email several times.

Me, me, me. This is all about me, and not at all about you or your inbox or your attention span.

6. Praise my success with me.

Once this post and my various social profiles reach a certain amount of attention, I will write about it. I will convey to the world how I did it, how you helped me, and what my next steps are going to be.

Then, you can read that and repeat the 6 steps I’ve laid out in this post.


Did you like what you just read? Have you not followed me yet on all my social media channels? If not, it is the single most important thing you can do as a living, breathing adult. Click on this link and this link and that link, and maybe this link too.

Content content content content content content content content content content content content content content content.


Special thanks to all the other digital marketers and social media people who made this satire possible! Sorry, I got frustrated this week with #content. This is not representative of ALL inspirational writing, just a li’l joke about that writing which is dishonest, contrived and/or pandering for the sake of marketability.

Also, sorry that I have to make that clear as to not inadvertently offend anyone.